Mr Health Nut – 5

In my new job I was working in a position where I was meeting a lot of men as it was a sports club and many of my friends had expressed their excitement that maybe I would meet a nice eligible bachelor there.  Unfortunately after a few weeks of working  I realised that most of the men were older and married which were the 2 things I was avoiding in men! I had done the married thing and was definitely not into older men so I stopped looking and concentrated on learning my job.

After a few months a shortish bald man approached my desk and inquired about joining the club.  He had a lovely smile and was very friendly and we had a nice rapport whilst we organised his membership.  I thought nothing of it though and forgot about it as soon as he left. The next day I had to email him some information about his membership and he emailed back in a slightly playful manner. I was a little surprised but emailed him back being the super friendly person that I am and he then suggested in his next email that all of the conversation we were having via email would be a lot easier via text and perhaps I should text him my mobile number as he didn’t have mine but I had his.  I thought a lot about doing this as I just wasn’t sure I wanted to get involved with anyone from work but after a few hours I ended up texting him to say hi.  What harm could it do?  Let’s call this guy Matt.  Matt was 49 but looked about 39, he was super fit and was a health coach.  He was a single dad with one child and he was very easy to chat to via text.  He didn’t drink alcohol or coffee and this should have been a warning sign to me straight up as I love both of those things but I decided that those things were minute and he seemed like he had his shit together so I decided to keep chatting with him via text.  A few days later he actually rang me!  Shock horror, someone actually called me to speak with our voices!  We had an hour long conversation and even though some of the things he said during that conversation seemed quite radical, he made me laugh a lot and we had a very entertaining conversation.  That day he asked me out for dinner and I didn’t hesitate.

The night rolled around for our date and I was nervous and excited. We had been talking constantly via text and on the phone and he seemed really nice and funny.  He took me to a South American restaurant and ordered for both of us, the whole time checking with the waitress how everything was cooked, what was in all the meals and generally being very bossy and fussy about the food.  I am so not this type of person so I found it quite embarrassing listening to him grill the waitress for 10 minutes.  When our food came out he picked it apart and told me what I should avoid and what was ok to eat.  Um yea, dude I’m 46 years old, I don’t need you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t be eating…

After dinner, which was only just bearable he suggested we walk back to his place and listen to some music and chill out.  I knew this was code for lets have sex and to be honest even though he was kind of strange and his whole dinner behavior had turned me off, I wanted sex and he was still a bit of a mystery to me so I was up for the challenge.  Once back at his place he put some music on and it was that sort of background music from Africa that you hear in alternate therapy clinics, so not really getting me into a sexy mood at all. He chatted for ages and it all became quite boring very quickly.  He talked about himself and his son and didn’t bother asking me one thing about myself the whole time. After awhile I was so sick of listening to him that I ended up just jumping on him and kissing him to shut him up.

Our kissing was passionate and eventually he picked me up in a very manly fashion and carried me to his room and threw me onto the bed. He was excellent at foreplay, more than amazing, and he had a good body but was quite hairy which is not something I’m into but I managed to get over it due to the amazing foreplay situation going on.  Before I knew it we were having sex and it shocked me that he didn’t even ask whether we were going to use condoms, not even a quick discussion before he stuck it in!  This to me was incredibly rude as I believe I should have the option if I want to use condoms and even though on most occasions in the heat of the moment I say don’t worry, ( I know, I know! I’m very bad)  I wanted to have that choice.  And then, the actual sex part was over, like in all of about 5 minutes.  Wow, that was quick I thought to myself, thank god he had made me cum whilst he was going down on me otherwise the whole experience would have been very ordinary!  We lay together for a few moments and he then said I’m going to have a shower.  OK, that’s odd I thought, it was the middle of Winter and he had hardly worked up a sweat, can’t we lay and have a nice moment before you run off to the shower?  Anyway he got back from the shower and I had gotten up and gotten dressed and he said “oh you’re not staying over?”  I said sorry I have to get home to my dogs, they fret without me at night.  And to be honest I just wanted to get out of there, the whole night had been strange and I knew I wasn’t interested in seeing him again.

As I drove home I replayed the night over in my head and laughed to myself how rude he had been and how he was not my type at all and really why did I even bother having sex with him?  It all plays down to feeling wanted by someone, to getting that affection that I always craved and moving on from Tom.

I didn’t bother contacting Matt again but he must have thought the date went well because he continued to ring and text me and I didn’t have anything else going on so I played along with him and even went over to his house a couple more times just for the fairly average sex but super awesome foreplay. Each time I would see him I would leave his house wondering why the actual fuck did I bother because I really didn’t even like him so it was  a waste of time but as always I was craving affection.

After a few weeks of casually hooking up once a week on my day off, I was at his house and we were having the awkward conversation we had before we had sex which was all about himself and never about me and somehow the conversation got around to vaccinating children as I had to get my daughter the Gardasil vaccination which she had missed at school.  Now I’m not an antivaxer and I’m also not 100% sure of all the details of vaccinations but I don’t like to be told what to do with my kids from a guy I’m sleeping with whom I’ve known for all of 5 minutes but Matt decided it was his job to tell me that I was a complete moron if I got my kids vaccinated and that I was basically killing my daughter by getting her this vaccination.  The conversation made me really uncomfortable and I felt like going but I knew this was going to be the last time I saw Matt so I slept with him so I could get that one last super awesome foreplay situation and then I packed up and left never to return!

A few days later Matt rang me to tell me he really didn’t think we should see each other again as we were both just so different and it was never going to work.  I took this opportunity to tell Matt that I totally agreed with him and the fact that he had never actually gotten to know me or ask me anything about myself the whole time we had hung out may have something to do with the reason that he didn’t have a girlfriend. Perhaps if he made an effort to stop talking about himself for hours on end and to actually show an interest in the girl he is dating and not lecture her about what to eat and what to do in regards to her life may help him in future dating scenarios….

And that was the end of that my friends…..